Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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