at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Mom said you looked used
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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