Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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