OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
