The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
