I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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