I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
