Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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