Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
