I puked a lego.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
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My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
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Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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