In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
