Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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