literally had 100 drinks last night.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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