Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
