even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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