I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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