I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
