Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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