life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
