OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
