I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
