he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
