Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she pinky promised me she was 18
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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