I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize
