Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
