I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
