Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
