WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
