You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize