idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
