I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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