I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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