belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I am mentally ready for anal.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
