Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
