you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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