Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
