did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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