My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
