he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
