I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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