Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
