This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will be naked everywhere
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
