ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
