just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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