WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
