You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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