Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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