Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
