farters have to be the big spoon...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
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Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
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Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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