I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
