we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
