Whod you bang
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Green mimosas i think yes
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
