Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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