Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i now understand why vodka
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
