I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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