I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
