I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
