Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
