Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
from now on my penis is your penis
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
