Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
