why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
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I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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