It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
