bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
