oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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